Month: March 2014

Bono’s office, some time in 2014

Hi guys, I suspect you know why I’ve called you in here for this meeting. Adam, Larry, uhm… hat guy… you know that costs have been rising and, what with piracy and everything we just don’t get the receipts we used to.

Obviously that means we have to find some savings and, after looking through the options the management have come up with a plan to help save the band and allow us to continue delivering on our mission statement of creating slightly banal rock music along with big, over the top live concerts.

I’m really sorry to be the messenger in this, but I have to inform you that your roles are being replaced by a team of six musicians from Hyderabad in India. Obviously this pains me greatly, and eventually I will go as well as I’m staying as a transitional figurehead until somebody just as annoying can be found and trained up.

You’ll be pleased to note that I’ve been able to negotiate a generous three month notice period for you all, including a generous pay off equivalent to an additional six months of pay if you work out your notice period to management’s satisfaction. I hope this is agreeable to you. There will also be assistance in you finding a new job through our redeployment unit who will be offering training and help with tidying up your CV.

What’s that Larry? What will you be doing during the notice period?

Well, mostly you’ll be training up your replacements who are arriving later today. Hat guy, you’ve got Ishaan and Krishna, Larry you’ll be working alongside Arjun and Diya, and Adam, you’ve got Om. You were supposed to have two guys with you but there was a problem with visas or something.

Hat guy, you have a question? OK, fine, “The Edge” it is… I do wish you’d let that go. What’s wrong with Dave eh? Sure sure, we’re digressing… anyway, no, management don’t believe quality will suffer.

I’m obviously unhappy this has had to happen, but I’m sure you’ll all find success in your new jobs out there. I believe most people who suffer redundancy find themselves better off than before! One guy I knew was just a cleaner, got made redundant, got trained as an electrician and makes four times what he did. Amazing eh?

No Adam, I don’t think after this has happened I’ll suddenly find myself in a nice managerial role. I’m as gutted by all this as you all are, I can assure you.

Chaps, I know our new album is part way through, but I’m sure you’ll all be professional about this and make sure that you transfer all your knowledge and current working situation to our new colleagues. Good luck, Larry, Adam and Dave, and let’s stay friends. Right… right?

image credit link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:2005-11-21_U2_@_MSG_by_ZG.JPG

What a difference a tyre makes – mini review of Yokohama Advan Neovas on track

Yesterday, finally, after a break of nearly four years, I returned to the race track. Not for a competitive event, but for a track day. And I learned a little…

The scene has changed. Maybe.

Track days were mostly full of road cars. Lotus Elises were hugely popular, but you’d see a collection of Porsches, various Caterhams and Westfields, and assorted other fast cars. There’d also be quite the gaggle of hot hatches in various states of modification, from bog standard ten year old Golf GTIs through to cars with full roll cages and stiff suspension.

Yesterday it was mostly race cars and track specific motors. There were very few number plates in evidence. There was my own Elise, a Porsche GTS, a couple of Caterhams, and a Honda. Racing or track only cars included Jordan Stilp’s new and seriously rapid Clio Cup racer, an Audi engine Elige (a motorsport bodied Lotus Elise, basically), a swarm of Caterham R300’s from bookarack’s fleet, and a few Ginettas. I soon suspected that the day was more about racers preparing for the upcoming season than about enthusiast drivers who were probably dubious about investing good money on a winter track day that could turn out to be a washout.

But I didn’t mind – the standard of driving was excellent and polite – and when people are skilled you can drive in close quarters without feeling like their cars are about to go off in a random direction.

So about the tyres then?

I don’t change my car much – basically, if it has a setup I’m happy with and that I enjoy then that’s good enough for me. But my old Bridgestones were shot from age and Ollie at Phoenix Motorsports recommended Yokahama Advan Neovas as a road & track friendly alternative. A tyre that can handle rain without trying to kill you. And they’re cheaper too. Given I don’t use the Lotus much and that the Bridgestones were worn out not because the tread had gone, but because they were hard from age, I figured that slightly shorter lived tyres wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

And here’s what happens – suddenly I was having to brake for Roberts from nearly 120mph, just as the car hit the rev limiter in fourth. Last time I went to Donington I was breaking for the old Goddards corner from about 115mph. Given that Roberts has made Starkey’s straight quite a bit shorter that’s a revelation. I was reaching the same sort of speed on the pit straight as well.

The reason was a combination of increased corner speed and superior traction – I could use all the car’s power for a lot more time. I could also carry more speed into corners, so the brakes appeared to have an easier time of it.

On top of that, you get to feel even more lateral G forces. To the degree that the car is becoming quite physical to drive – in Craner Curves at Donington you feel forces that seem out of order for a fairly standard road going car. It makes for a very exciting time if you get it wrong there, as you’re now going a lot faster – another 5mph, exiting the corner at about 110mph in my Elise.

In summary

If you’re looking for a cheap upgrade to make your road oriented track car far faster than seems reasonable, I’d recommended such tyres. Just make sure your suspension setup is capable – fitting sticky tyres to a tall, soft car can lead to a lot more excitement than a mere spin. Being upside down, for example.