At last – got the tickets booked for Peru. It feels like it’s all about to happen now.
Of course, one of the problems with going away for a long trip is that home life is suddenly put on hold. I’m trying to set up a business here, and leaving it all hanging for two months may not be the best idea. But then again, it strikes me as a perfect opportunity to do this trip when it’s likely to have the least negative impact.
It’s also going to be an opportunity to maybe trace my father. We lost touch over ten years ago. I have addresses for him in places like Tacna, Arecibo, Quito and La Paz. Although finding him isn’t a priority, and isn’t the reason for doing this trip, I want to feel like I made the effort so I’ll make a few enquiries. Of course, it’s all a bit more complex than that. Part of the inspiration to write this down started when I posted an entry, more or less anonymously, on the b3ta question of the week. My entry’s about halfway down – just search for the word ‘father’. I think I made the post a day or two before the qotw closed but it seems a lot of people clicked it and in that short time it made it onto the ‘best’ page.
And it made me think – it was a stream of conciousness posting, and the first time I’d ever put down in writing how I’d felt about part of his treatment of me. A couple of days later I suddenly realised that no, it wasn’t me. I’ve nothing to feel guilty about. I did do my best, and although I want to help others as much as I can, I have to also respect that other people not only screw up, but have to actually get themselves out of that bother. To over-help (is that legitimate grammar?!) someone is to emasculate them. So, you set them up with the ability to help themselves and if they refuse then you have few options but to hope for the best and leave them to it.
And it all leads to my creating this blog on my website. I’ve no intention of revealing my deepest desires on here, what music I like, or anything like that. I just want to talk about travel (because it’s interesting and it’s easier than trying to keep a paper journal!) and to talk about the relationship my travels have to my father and his behaviour. In a way, I guess, it’s therapy. It also means I don’t need to repeatedly bore people with the story. I can just publish here and be damned.
Now – onto more practical stuff… I need to see people about what jabs are required…